Some Mindless Transformation

Short skirts, giant fights and snappy comebacks

The cast and crew return for the sequel to the 2007 summer blockbuster. Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro star along side the giant robots voiced by Hugo Weaving, Peter Cullen, Anthony Anderson, Frank Welker, Tony Todd, Tom Kenny and Charles Adler. Michael Bay returns with the same writing crew of Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.

Orci and Kurtzman do a decent job if they were attempting to make a film full of one liners as dialogue. Although I really enjoyed the line from Tyrese Gibson’s character “If god made us in his image, I don’t want to meet the guy that made him” (referring to Optimus Prime). I take pleasure in the way that the writing duo subtly used Egyptian lore to tie into the Transformers and their own mythology. Aside from that though, I really don’t know how these guys managed to write Star Trek and this.

Character development is used entirely on introducing new characters such as the college roommate Leo (Ramon Rodriguez) and Jetfire (the walks with a cane because he is so old robot!). At times I was engaged with everyone line of Jetfire’s dialogue, until Bay (or the writers) went for joke after joke at his expense. This point in the movie should have brought us answers (and more questions along with it) but all we got was questions and gags. Aside from Jetfire though, not a single new iota of information is learned about the main characters (robots and humans!). Duhamel is now just a set piece to get the Autobots into action, Fox is just eye candy, LaBeouf is a means to bring the action to a relatable character and Turturro (Rodriguez and arguably half the rest of the cast) are there to make you laugh. That leaves us with lots room for Autobots/Decepticons to bicker, bond and break into character, yet it never happens. The exception being a few scenes with Optimus Prime but they don’t really yield much in the development department.

Plot holes, nope, no holes, just massive fucking chasms! Giant robots are hiding all over the world (as giant vehicles of some kind), yet apparently they can disguise themselves as humans which is never explained. Another time three people not wearing seatbelts manage to survive a straight on crash with a pole, getting picked up and hurled around while the car is hung from a helicopter only to be detached and tumble (at least) 5 stories end over end onto hard cement, without any damage other then a minor scratch.

Some what the fuck moments happened almost every 20 minutes on screen. Some horrible stereotyping by the twin robots who prove that even robots can be very, very stupid. Somehow at the end of Transformers when Bumblebee’s vocal cords start working again but they just stop so he can only talk through the radio (and Tom Hanks) in this film with no justification on why or how. Plus a few more items that I won’t talk about as they are possible spoilers.

Not all is bad though, as action is where Michael Bay is at his best. It shows, especially in the fight scene in the woods. The only time the director really pulls the camera back and lets the viewer see all the action. Not throwing us into the fray with the robots made it so much easier to follow and understand exactly what was happening. My main knock on the first film was the very tight action sequences that were tough to follow (particularly the Decepticons who are basically the same colour and design) and they persist to be a problem in this film as well. As with any other Bay film realism isn’t too high on the chart, pretty women are everywhere. I want to hang out wherever Bay does, especially if every woman looks that damn good and wears that little clothing!

My expectations were raised going into this film because even with the first movies faults it was enjoyable and had a lot of blocks in place to build on. Hope was ringing throughout the entire film as the music blared along with the battles. The hope was not for the characters but that the film will get much better as it runs its course. Sadly it does not. I am not sure if I can recommend this. Yes seeing the IMAX cut is probably worth the viewing. If you can manage to shut down your brain to the minimum functions then you will enjoy this. If not, it could be a long two and half hours.

2.5 out of 5
Colin Enquist