If You Don't Like This Movie Then You're An @$$hole!: 001

JAWS

BY GEORGE CAVALENES

“Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.”

I’m sure I’m not the only drunkard who hasn’t uttered those 7 words mid soiree. On many occasions I can remember when me and my friends would break it down, get serious…say those seven words. Nostrovia! I can only think of a handful of movies that are as quoted, parodied, and ripped off as JAWS.

I remember being a kid and catching this movie after Cubs games on WGN. A movie so scary to an 11 year old that I cried my first time getting into the ocean (second and third didn’t go as well, either). Steven Spielberg redefined suspense for this movie and inspired filmmakers for decades to come.

Responsible for creating "summer blockbuster season" and most likely Shark Week, this movie was made to scare people of all ages. I'm not going to bore you with a synopsis of the film because you don't need it to want to see this movie. You should just know that Roy Scheider, Richard Dryfuss, and Robert Shaw turned in the best acting performances of their careers. You should know that this movie launched Steven Spielberg's career. Without it we wouldn't have E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, Schindler's List, or Jurassic Park. I could go on for days about useless trivia on this movie like how Spielberg used to call the animatronic shark (bob, for you people in the know) the great white turd or that Charlton Heston was considered for the role of Chief Brody, but I'm not going to. This movie is so great that it makes me want to know useless facts about it. The point is... this is one for the best movies ever made and if you don't like it you're an asshole.