DVD Pick: The Grudge 3

The third Grudge film runs itself (very) thin

BY EMIL TIEDEMANN

There's a reason why direct-to-DVD movies don't get to play with the big boys down at the local theatres...they suck! Okay, I guess that's a general observation, and I'm sure there's exceptions, but as a rule of thumb...they suck! Case in point, an unnecessary and expendable sequel to a sequel, The Grudge 3.

The 2004 original was pretty good. The 2006 follow-up wasn't bad. But that's where the horror franchise shoulda called it quits, as The Grudge 3 buries itself with a diluted plotline, callous settings, and layman acting that is so bad at times it becomes distracting. To its credit though, the third Grudge film does manage to conserve some of the eeriness that the prior two extended.

Directed by newcomer Toby Wilkins (Splinter), part 3 shuffles around a trio of siblings, including Max (Gil McKinney), the landlord of a deprived and nearly-vacant apartment complex in downtown Chicago, where he lives with his two younger sisters Lisa (Johanna Braddy) and Rose (Jadie Hobson). A young Japanese woman named Naoko (Emi Kahata) travels to the "Windy City" to put an end to the grudge once and for all--or so we can hope--by persuading Rose to participate in an exorcism of the building, which takes affect only after the youngest sibling drinks the blood of Kayako, the original victim that set off the persistant curse upon her murder years ago in Tokyo.

I found myself barking "as if" more times than Alicia Silverstone in Clueless, and rolling my eyes got tiresome after the first hour, so I let the shit flow until the credits kicked in. To add insult to injury, those same credits unconceivably included producers Takashi Shimizu (The Grudge, Ju-on) and one of the masters of horror, Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead trilogy, Drag Me to Hell). Nonetheless, The Grudge 3 betrays the splendor that its predecessors (including Ju-on) enveloped, as Hollywood--yet again--takes a perfectly fine film series and wears it so thin that it eludes its own roots. Sounds like I've got a grudge of my own!

1/5 stars

DVD Pick: The Lucky Ones

Haven't seen it? Consider yourself amongst 'The Lucky Ones'!

BY EMIL TIEDEMANN

In Neil Burger's third career feature, Tim Robbins (The Shawshank Redemption), Michael Pena (Crash), and Rachel McAdams (The Notebook) play injured soldiers who temporarily return home from Iraq, only to realize life wasn't quite the same as when they left it.

Robbins is Cheaver, a veteran soldier who discovers that his wife (Molly Hagan) wants a divorce from the man she's become accustomed to living without for the last two years, while his son (Mark L. Young) is in dire need of twenty grand to pay for a Stanford education. Pena is T.K., a sergeant who suffers a shrapnel injury in his "private area" and is unable to function properly, so to speak, while Adams plays a flakey militant named Colee, desperate to get her late boyfriend's $20,000 guitar home to his unexpecting family.

The dense misfits keep each other company on a tiresome road trip, first to St. Louis, and then to Vegas, where the informal strangers fleetingly diverge, only to randomly collide once again. Too many "as if" moments left me pouncing for the fast foward button, as this predictable and tedious film offered up nothing but been-there/done-that cinema. As the butchered script (by Burger and Dirk Wittenborn) bled onto screen, even the daffy charm of the stunning McAdams couldn't save this bargain bin flop.

Aside from a few LOL scenes (like when Colee suggests to T.K. that he substitute a life-like dildo for his unfunctional...you know) The Lucky Ones should have been--and almost was--a direct-to-video venture that did nothing for three acclaimed thespians who have each had there shining moments on the silver screen. But even the best of 'em are allowed a temporary lack of judgement...or maybe they just needed a paycheque?!

1/5 stars

DVD Pick: Eden Lake (2008)

UK thriller makes Crystal Lake look like a cakewalk

BY EMIL TIEDEMANN

When it comes to thrillers Eden Lake proves that the British can reek havoc just as menacing as the Yankees have. But this hair-raising feature goes above and beyond the status quo of fear.

The stunning Kelly Reilly (Sherlock Holmes) is a nursery school teacher named Jenny, who decides to partake in a camping weekend with her boyfriend Steve, played by Michael Fassbender (Hunger). The couple drive off to the reclusive and tranquil Eden Lake, and set up camp at its beachside, where they are soon harassed by a group of delinquents.

Things escalate and harassment turns to torment by the next morning, when they awake to discover the hoodlums have stolen their Jeep. The situation again intensifies after Steve accidentally kills the dog of the pack's leader Brett (Jack O'Connell), who forcingly persuades his buddies to help him hunt down the couple in the isolated woods of Eden Lake.

Director and screenwriter James Watkins (The Descent: Part 2) gives us a peek into how truly dispicable the human race can be, taking us on a rollercoaster ride that is, at times, grotesque, horrific, and heartless. Eden Lake will make you cringe, as its victims' survival instincts kick in to high gear, but will also pull back and find moments of sentiment within stages of utter terror, such as in a scene that has a destitute Jenny cradling the young thug she just murdered.

Almost unwatchable during some scenes, Eden Lake bares a realism to its suffering and the heartlessness of its main antagonist, who seems more terrifying than any of the movie villains we've become accustomed to. It's twists and turns may have you feeling a little naucious, but Eden Lake is worth the sit-threw, promising to literally have you on the edge of your seat.

4/5 stars

DVD Pick: Frozen River

Small film delivers big message

BY EMIL TIEDEMANN

At times Frozen River would remind me of other movies I'd seen, good movies at that, but in the end it stood on its own, and brushed off any of those aforementioned comparisons, as there really hasn't been a movie like this that I could remember.

Melissa Leo--who appeared in no less than 8 films last year alone--deglamourized her underrated Hollywood status to play Ray Eddy, a discount store employee and mother of two who is overwhelmed by bills, a low-paying job, and a husband who keeps running off to gamble away their savings. Eddy finds herself overdue on everything, including the downpayment for her dream home, a double-wide trailer for her small lot in northern New York, near the St. Regis Mohawk Reservation on the U.S.-Canadian border.

When the opportunity arises Eddy begins partnering up with a Mohawk woman named Lila Littlewolf (Misty Upham), the two of whom smuggle illegal immigrants from Canada across the border to the U.S. via the frozen St. Lawrence River, pulling in $1,200 per trip. As expected, a "last run" is foiled by local police patrols, and Eddy shows us a truly audacious deed of humanity after an empathetic friendship arose on that frozen river.

Leo was nominated for an Academy Award for her lead role in Frozen River, but, like screenwriter Courtney Hunt (who also directed), lost to more well-known features (The Reader and Milk, respectively). Nonetheless, River won numerous other awards and accolades, all forecasting a future classic, a hidden gem of a film that refused to settle on conventional ideas, borrowing from real life and its shrouted little stories of compassion and understanding.

4/5 stars

DVD Pick: Chapter 27

Leto gives it his all in Mark David Chapman's 'biopic'

BY EMIL TIEDEMANN

I must admit that I was a bit biased going into Chapter 27, with my pre-exsisting fascination for a dominate reference in the movie, J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, and its main character 'Holden Caulfield,' but that just wasn't enough to make me a fan.

Holden was the primary influence on Mark David Chapman's decision to assassinate former Beatles frontman John Lennon (ironically, played by actor Mark Lindsay Chapman), who Chapman thought of as a "phony," a name Holden used over and over in Salinger's iconic novel. One-time teen idol Jared Leto (Requieum for a Dream) plays Chapman in J.P. Schaefer's Chapter 27 (based on Jack Jones' book Let Me Take You Down), taking method acting to a whole new personal level. Leto completely transforms himself into the delusional Chapman, even intentially putting on 67 pounds to play the part, and studying the killer's traits.

Chapman tried to recreate Holden's fictional soul-searching journey in Manhattan, right before he shot and killed Lennon just outside the Dakota hotel he was staying at with wife Yoko Ono, who actually witnessed the incident herself. But Chapman's own story just isn't that interesting. Throw in a slow pace and a "tacky" supporting role by Lindsay Lohan, and you've got a sub-par movie that failed to spark any attention amongst moviegoers, and critics weren't impressed either.

Chapter 27 (The Catcher has 26 chapters, in case you were wondering) wasn't all that bad, salvaged at times by Leto's steady effort and his recitals of full sentences--and paragraphs in some cases--of The Catcher, in all its glory. But this was a movie that many did not want to see made, and many others who'd refuse to even acknowledge its exsistance. Chapman was the most hated man in America that December 1980, and it seems that most still aren't ready to hear his side of the story.

2.5/5 stars